Posted by: babbo | November 8, 2008

Can You Let Go of Wanting Approval? The Sedona Method, Part 4

The Sedona Method is a powerful & easy-to use program that helped me learn to let go of negative thoughts, emotions and behaviors that were holding me back in every aspect of my life from health, to career, to relationships.

If this is your first look at the series, you might want to check out Part 1 for an overview before you get started. Part 2 focuses on letting go of resistance, while Part 3 is about letting go of the need for control.

This installment takes a look at our need for approval.

Wanting Approval
Have you ever felt the need for approval? From your boss, a loved one, or yourself? Have you ever experienced an instance where there was something you really wanted to accomplish, big or small, but felt you were inadequate to get it done?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you’ve experienced the need for approval. When we’re wanting approval, we’re actually feeling disapproval of ourselves — feeling we’re not good enough, not ready, not qualified, not smart enough, not talented enough, and the list goes on…

When we’re seeking approval, there’s an underlying feeling of lacking it. When this happens, “we act in ways designed to help us get it, while all the time sabotaging actually getting it. We are focused on ourselves, and we feel self-conscious.

We become overly concerned with what people think of us. We may say “yes” when we mean “no.” We may allow others to give us the runaround or control us in order to get them to like us. We may take on too much responsibility or not delegate tasks, because we think it will make us more popular.

You can recognize wanting approval, because it feels soft and exposed and also like: “gimme,” or “do-it-for-me.” When we want approval, we feel like we don’t have love and that we need to do something to get it back. Synonyms for wanting approval include wanting love, acceptance, admiration, caring, to be understood, nurtured, liked, among others.

As we let go of wanting approval, we will feel more loving and caring, more loved and accepted.”

Hale Dwoskin,
CEO and Director of Training of Sedona Training Associates

Lately, I’ve been working on letting go of my need for approval concerning Daddy Brain. I have many plans for this blog — from a book, to workshops with dads, to a film or TV show. But I have been struggling with feelings of inadequacy that have been holding me back — literally stopping me from attaining that which is within my reach.

Here’s an exercise that will give you an idea of what it’s like to let go of the need for approval. You may find it hard to do, or you may find it easy. Either way, it’s OK just the way it is. Remember this is only one “slice” of the program. There’s much, much more to it than I am able to explain here.

And remember, it’s OK to take each step as slowly as you need to…

Take a deep breath and focus inside.

Think of a situation where you wanted approval from a specific person or from yourself.

Could you welcome that sense of wanting approval, just for a moment?

Notice what it feels like to want approval.

Could you let it go?

If you repeat this process a few times, I think you’ll find that at least some of your need for approval has been lifted (if it hasn’t already). Remember, this is only a small part of what the Sedona Method has to offer.

The next installment will focus on letting go of wanting security/survival. In the meantime if you’d like to learn more, or try the CD program risk free, click here. You can also purchase the Sedona Method book, available at Amazon.com and fine bookstores everywhere.

And remember, you are not alone…

Related Links:
Part 5 looks at letting go of the need for security/survival

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