Posted by: babbo | June 30, 2008

Time: The Slippery, Fleeting Thing That Doesn’t Really Exist

I recently read two posts about the issue of time over at Dad of Divas (see links below). It’s a topic I think about often how I’m spending my time, and how most of it is spent away from my family.

What is time?
We’re told it’s a man-made concept, that it doesn’t really exist. Yet there never seems to be enough of it. And whether or not it’s “real,” there are certain pressures, constraints and sacrifices inherent in the time paradigm.

My definition of time has a pretty bleak side. Time is life. And as we grind out the days and weeks away from our families (albeit in order to support them), there is something irreplaceable being sacrificed. Time with our kids. At the park. At music class. As they grow up. One day they’ll be adults, and we won’t be able to catch up with what we’ve lost.

Monday through Friday, like many moms and dads, my time is spent away from my family away from my kids  at work. That’s 10.5 hours per day, 52.5 hours per week, 2,572.5 hours per year (I’ve deducted 3 weeks vacation). And I know parents who have it worse  working 12+ hours per day, and weekends too!

When I’m home with my boys, I’m usually so exhausted that it’s a struggle to be present and pleasant. There’s not enough time in the day for me to get enough rest. So I’m left feeling like a vampire has sucked the blood (and the life force) out of me, leaving me in a semi-zombie state. Does this sound like you? I doubt I’m alone.

I’m sorry to say I do not have a cure-all answer for this dilemma that so many of us face. What I do know is this we can’t give up. We need to trust in the Universe and do our part to find a solution. Pray. Play the lottery. Make the best of our time with our kids (as hard as that may seem). Do whatever you have to do to avoid giving up. If you give up, all is lost. If you keep the faith, anything is possible.

If I did have a cure-all answer for the issue of time, it would look a lot like this:

I would clone myself into 5 people.

#1 Sleeps all day
#2 Spends all day with the kids
#3 Makes love with my wife all day
#4 Works all day
#5 Blogs about the other four

I think this would work out pretty well.

And remember, you are not alone…

Dad of Divas links:
Maniverse #5: Time in a Bottle
Blogging: Pastime or Addiction

 


Responses

  1. I feel ya. We recently went from two incomes to one for my wife to stay at home with our boy. It is tough, and I have been working a bit more to help compensate, but I am spending less time wit my boy as a result. It sucks BIGTIME! I sacrifice the amount of sleep i get to be able to get everything done and play with my boy too. Hopefully it all pays off in the end. 😀 BTW: I would make four clones and I would take the responsibility of Clone #2. 😀

  2. First of all I have to thank you for the shout out on both of my posts and I hope that your readers will wnjoy them. I feel much like you in regards to time… it truly is fleeting and when I get home after a full days work…I want to be there for my kids and my wife, but sometimes it is difficult to leave work behind (even though I know I should). This becomes even harder in the type of work that I do (College Administration) which sometimes feels like a 24-7 job…but I signed up for it, so I cannot complain. I like your top five lists… maybe I should examine ways to make those happen more! As the Musical RENT states – Measure your life in love… and also remember that each year we only have 525,600 minutes to make a difference in our family’s life – Make all of those minutes count!

  3. I was just watching a show on the Science Channel last night about time and how we humans perceive it. It’s funny that you’re talking about it here but I really like how you relate it to being a father.

    I’m like you…I work full time and so does my wife. My daughter is in one of the best daycare’s in the city but still want to spend as much time with her as possible.

    Our nights and weekends go by SOOOOOO fast and it only gets worse when we try to adhere to a strict and get a million things done. The best time is plain ol’ hangin-out-with-each-other time.


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